Sex and masturbation can mean so many things to different people, and this also changes over the course of our lifetime. For many of us, masturbation can be a stress-reliever or even a work out. And for some, sex can be connection with their partners, a way to explore kinky fantasies, or an obligation. Some of us feel a lot of guilt and shame about our fantasies or sexual expression, while others don’t. We all have a unique way in which we connect sexually to ourselves and to others.
Ritual Eroticism and Conscious Kink are two phrases that I like to use often in my work because they make us stop to think a little deeper about actions and words that we use all the time.
Rituals ask us to be present in our actions, and use that presence to hold a container for our intentions. Ritual Eroticism is the understanding that our sexual energy can be used for infinite things outside of just sexual intercourse or orgasm. It is using your sexual energy as a spiritual practice.
Ritual Eroticism is knowing that you can craft your own version of sexuality with yourself and others, not just what you have seen mirrored in our culture.
Conscious Kink is exploring your darker or more taboo fantasies with intention.
Exploring why you are turned on by this particular fantasy, and how you feel after doing it. If you feel deep shame and guilt before, during, or after exploring a sexual fantasy, Conscious Kink asks you to dive deep into the “why” and sit with those feelings. Witness them and work to integrate them. BDSM & kink are already filled with complex communication around boundaries and consent, and adding mindful discussions around the motivations of the fantasy can really strengthen the scene, your connection with your partner, and help you both use that experience for deep personal growth & transformation. Kink is also fun and experimental, and you don’t always have to fuse it with deep intention. This practice is helpful to learn for yourself, and so that you can hold space for others that are also exploring kink consciously.
These practices are perfect to explore if you feel disconnected from your sexuality, or if your shame around your fantasies or body prevents you from experiencing pleasure.
If you would like to explore these concepts deeper, I provide individual and package sessions to help you embody your Erotic Power. We use elements from Conscious Kink, Witchcraft, and Ritual Eroticism to help you channel your shame into pleasure, and use your sexual energy for healing and transformation.